Zim and the Thurk Beasts
by latex-jackel
Summary: Based on an old RP between me and Lynne Stephenson... another fanfiction writer. Zim and all inhabitents of our town get turned into "thurk beasts" as zim calls them... which translates to dragons. Short and humourous, includes exsisting people from some


The labs continuous drone of hums and beeps buzzed monotonous in Zim's finely tuned Irken ear. He grumbled to himself, more at his unadmitted failures then at the annoying cacophony around him. It seemed to him that all his brilliant works were in vain, nothing had succeeded of yet, Earth still remained independent of his Irken conquest. He dare not let himself slip into that mind set though... He was ZIM!! All-mighty, all-knowing, and soon all-victorious conqueror of earth!  
  
"GIR!" he called, listening to the procession of clanks and bumps that followed as the little robot tumbled through a random shute and into a heap of twisted wires.  
  
"Yes Master!" cried the little bot, standing to attention, though slightly inhibited by the mass of colored wires that clung to him.  
  
Zim sighed to himself but quickly barked out the order while he still had Gir's attention "I want you watch for any intruders Gir! I know that seems to be a hard task for you, but i'm going to be down here thinking. I don't want any distractions. Can you handle that Gir?"  
  
"Yes Master!" he replied with gusto, his eyes glowing a determined red.  
  
"Alright, now go upstairs Gir. And stay quite!! I can't think with all your insane giggling!" The little bot looked slightly discouraged, but made a smart little salute and left turn, marching to the elevator.  
  
"Up!" he commanded, suppressing a barrage of giggles as the elevator zoomed upward. The upper level loomed wide before him, chasing any ideas of actually following his masters orders from his rather empty mind.  
  
"Mooosy?? MOOOSEEEE!!!" he spun about in a frantic search. "Where is you Moosy?" he took off at a run across the flamboyantly colored living room.  
  
Meanwhile, Zim had perched himself in his command chair, swiveling about in it discontentedly. Short ebony boots dangling just above the platform. He hated having so many stray thoughts in his head. Why was he so far behind? How had the other invaders managed to conquer their worlds in such a short time. Zim understood that the tallest had sent him on a particularly special mission, but he should at least have a small legion of human slaves by now... He pushed out his bottom lip in the pouty expression he so often assumed when feeling frustrated. The insecurity he was feeling was unsettling. Why weren't his brilliant plans working? He wrapped his gloved hands about his knees, pulling them in close. Little dead end schemes formulating and crashing about in his mind. Droning together into a blur as his green eyelids began to drift slowly over his bright red eyes....  
  
*SNAP!*  
  
Zim jerked awake as his command chair collapsed beneath him. He gave a startled squeak, dropping to all fours and scuttling backwards. Had something attacked him? Was there an intruder?  
  
"GIR!!!" he screamed. Turning for the elevator and feeling slightly cumbersome. His nose looked strangely elongated. Perhaps he'd bumped it on the floor during his fall. He'd have to medicate himself as soon as he found that useless little robot and reprimanded him. The usually spacious elevator felt rather cramped, and he was still crawling on all fours. He must have really bumped his head! He wasn't thinking or feeling at top Irken efficiency. He emerged underneath the table, scrambling to fit through the opening. How odd, he thought to himself, glancing about in search of Gir.  
  
"GIR!!!!! Gir, where are you???" He heard a serious of clicky noises as the little nuisance scampered around the corner from the kitchen. Zims jaw dropped in shock.  
  
"G-gg-gg-gir!!" he managed to stutter. Gir gazed up at him with wide blue eyes, a slender yet stout reptilian nose, his tounge hanging haphazardly out the side (Squeaky moose toy cradled between picked teeth). Two small webbed wings sprouted from his spine, and a silvery grey tail curled about four clawed feet. A single antenna protruding from the center of his head and laying at and angle to his sinuous neck.  
  
"Master, yoous all dragonee!!" exclaimed Gir. Zim backing away as he approached.  
  
"Your... your a Thurk-beast!! Gir!! What has that Thurken-crud done to you!!" shouted Zim, looking nervous.  
  
"Lookee, i can flys master!" The little dragon lept up, flapping his wings and gaining a little elevation, but not truley understanding the skill, flopping back down.  
  
"Whee!!! I'm flying!" he cried, rolling onto his back and staring up at Zim. "You try now, dragon master!"  
  
"Gah!" cried Zim, backing against the couch and pausing. The glint of his reflection in the blank tv screen had caught his attention...  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" He let out one of his classic screams, scampering backwards as best he could against the couch. He under stood why he'd been walking on all fours now! The four reptilian appendages springing from the thurk like body, large leathery webbed wings laying flat against his spine, a fairly long neck and tail, as well as the slender nose like lump slightly below and between his eyes.   
  
"Master!! You flys now!!" insisted Gir, his scales glittering a silvery blue versus Zims vibrant green.  
  
"I... she's turned us into Thruk-beasts!! CURSE YOU!! You Thurken slime!!" He spun about, looking as though he wanted to shred something. Giving up that conquest.  
  
"Computer! Locate the Thurken beast and call her here!" He paused, waiting for a response.  
  
"Command voice not recognized." said a monotone voice.  
  
"WHAT!?!" screamed Zim, as a serious of claws descended from the ceiling and snatched up him nad Gir. "Computer! Put me down! Don't you recognize the mighty ZIM!!" It proceed to shove Gir through the doorway, followed by Zim, who didn't fit as well. His widened haunches stuck in the frame and he thrashed about in panic.  
  
"Gir! Gir! Get me out!" He flayed about, noticing the lawn gnomes snap to attention. "Oh no..." he muttered.  
  
"Here Master, lemme get you out!!" Gir approached, a small door in his chest opening to produce a tube, which squirted chocolate bubble gum brain freezy all over Zim.  
  
"GAH!! Gir! What are you doing!?! Get that human filth off me!" Gir giggled merrily, latching onto Zims neck and pulling. The brain feezee surprisingly provided enough lubrication, and Zim came catapulting out, hurtling past the lawn gnomes who were massing for attack.  
  
"Lets get out of here!" he cried, perfecting a sort of half lumbering run. Gir scampered happily behind him. Now where would he go? He had to find that disgrace  
  
of a Thurken-beast and get her to change them back! Perhaps he could try flying, it would provide a better means of searching. He opened his wings and tried jumping, he glided up for a moment and he flapped them rapidly, only to drop back down. He paused, remembering a bird creature he'd watched from the skool window. Perhaps if he emulated that... He picked up speed, then jumped again, leaving his wings level, giving two short strong pumps, and suddenly finding himself in a sort of river of air, if he stayed at this layer, it would carry him.  
  
"Gir! Get up here." He yelled down at the little dragon, who was fast receding.  
  
"Master, dun leave meee!" he cried, still managing to hold the squeeky moose in his mouth. He jumped up, flapping frantically a few times, attempting twice more before he finally reached the pocket and caught up to Zim, his flying a bit more erratic.  
  
"Master!! We is flyyyying!" he yelped gleefully.  
  
"Yes Gir... now help me find the Thurk beast." The problem was... everyone was a Thurk-beast! They were out on the lawns, in the streets, struggling out of cars. Looking all very confused.  
  
"Whatever has happened didn't affect just us!" said Zim, looking amazed. All of a sudden, he spotted a car he recognized. He closed his wing s a little in attempt to land, finally managing to drop out of the air river and onto the ground again. Gir just decided to crash into the side of the little blue car as brakes.  
  
"Hey! Watch the Sable!" cried a familiar voice, a medium sized maroon thurk-beast rounding the side of the car. She narrowed her bright blue eyes...  
  
"Zim??" She asked, stepping closer.  
  
"Jaime!!" he cried in excitement, getting carried away with himself and running in to hug her. quickly backing off after realizing his error. It would have been a difficult hug anyway...  
  
"Errhem, I mean, yes, Jaime, so glad to have found you, human-stink-beast..." he said affectionately.  
  
"I knew you were behind this Zimmy." she said, narrowing her eyes again. "Turn us back!"  
  
"I!" he exclaimed, "Have nothing to do with this! I was going to find your Thurk-stink friend. I think she's behind this!" Jaime raised an eyebrow (if that was possible for a dragon to do).  
  
"Lynne wouldn't do something like this, i don't understand it..." she said trailing off as another dragon approached. He was copper colored, with deep brown eyes.  
  
"Jaime, this is getting weird..." He said, pausing to glance at Zim.  
  
"You remember Harley, don't you Zim?" Zim narrowed his eyes in contemptuous respect.  
  
"Hello human-stink." He said nonchalantly.  
  
"You mean 'thurk-stink' don't you?" said Harley mockingly, then smiling. He really didn't mind the little green alien.  
  
"Harlees and Jaimees!!!" cried Gir as if suddenly noticing them, galloping over and smothering them in an attack of lapping tounge. They laughed, brushing the little dragon off and patting him on the head as best they could. Not being used to these forms.  
  
"Well, I say we find Lynne." said Jaime, Lynne always seemed to know how to handle situations like this.  
  
"We'll have to fly." said Zim, "Theres a strange air river we can ride higher up."  
  
"Ah yes, air currents." Said Jaime, opening and flexing her wings. "Think you can do it?" she asked glancing back at Harley with a smile.  
  
"Of course." he said, giving her a grin, and jumping, spreading his wings and managing to catch an air current.  
  
"Ah, how i love thee..." whispered Jaime softly as she lept to follow. Zim made a disgusted noise, poking his tounge out, but was soon to follow. Gir taking up the tail end. Jaime had soon zeroed in on Lynnes house, managing an only moderately clumsy landing.   
  
"EEP!" she cried, stepping backwards as the rest landed. "Alaska at three o'clock..." she said as the large dog turned dragon came rocketing out. Massive pink tongue lolling out of a gray mottled muzzle.  
  
"Alaska!" came a voice from inside, a rather quizzical dragon poking his head out as the dog/dragon paused in its running and turned back. It must be Lynne's dad.  
  
"Is Lynne home?" called Jaime, knowing she proabl;y wouldn't fit through that doorway.  
  
"Yes, shes in her room." Replied Lynnes dad, pulling his neck back in and dismissing them.. Jaime wasn't sure if he was used to having dragon guests... She looked up at Lynnes window, not seeing any signs of life. She looked back at Harley, who shrugged.  
  
"LYYYYYNNNNE!" She called as loudly as she could. Waiting for response. Nothing, then a small face appeared.  
  
"Shes still human!" exclaimed Jaime, then corrected herself... "Or shes..." she gave a small gasp. "Lynne!! Come-out!" The window slid open and Lynne poked her head out, looking nervous. "Come on down, i'll catch you." Said Jaime, scrambling over to the edge of the roof. Lynne lifted a booted foot over the sill, and shuffled out, sliding down the shingles into Jaime's waiting claws.  
  
Once on the ground and stable, she looked about in moderate surprise. "I... I'm human..." she said, looking distressed...  
  
"And we're dragons." said Harley, glancing about at the assembled four.  
  
"Something is very not right here." said Jaime, adoring her atrocious english.  
  
"Zim?" Ask Lynne, glaring in the alien/dragons direction. He shook his head adamantly.  
  
"I had absolutely nothing to do with this one." he said defiantly "Besides, why would i want to be a dirty Thurk-beast?" he asked. Jaime gave him a vicious glare.  
  
Gir and Alaska had discovered each other, and were chasing one another in circles. Lynne sighed. Tossing the moose back and forth.  
  
"We have to fix this, I don't know how much more of this i can handle..." She looked about as forlorn as Jaime had ever seen her.  
  
"Maybe that Dib kid will know something" suggested Harley. Jaime and Lynne nodded while Zim shook his head venomously.  
  
"That human idiot knows nothing!" He cried righteously.  
  
"He knows your an alien, thats knowing more then most the world at the moment." said Jaime mockingly. Which silenced Zim for the moment. "To Dib's then?" she asked her companions.  
  
"To Dib's" said Lynne solemnly. Climbing on Alaska, who was a fairly large steed. The six of them now took flight, which was awkward, because Alaska was a rather sporadic steed. Jaime and Harley took either side of her to balance her off. So Lynne's ride wouldn't be so bumpy. Gir made tiny loops in the back, chasing his newly discovered tail.  
  
Dragons were milling about in the streets, looking lost and confused, some were crammed into cars, struggling to get out, others where halfway out doorways, or stuffed in windows. Dibs house came into to view, recognizable by the massive telescope in the back yard. They all made their various landings, some more frightening then others. Alaska managed to crash nose first into the dirt, sending Lynne tumbling.  
  
"Are you okay?!" exclaimed Zim, dashing forward, then catching himself "I mean...HAH! Hahahah! And such sounds of mockery... errhem."  
  
Jaime shot him a curious glare, a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. She loved seeing his facade slip. Lynne had gathered herself up, and was brushing the dirt off her coat. "Now, wheres that Dib?" She asked, looking about.  
  
Harley had gone around the front of the house, and there was and exclamation of surprise, a black dragon came running around the other side. Large glasses resting on the bridge of its nose and a dark zig-zag spike laying back against its neck. Harley followed shortly behind looking menacing.  
  
"Hello Dib." Said Jaime, assuming the dark investigator type voice, narrowing her eyes at him "Wanna tell us what you know about this?" She asked, gesturing at the circle of dragons plus one human.  
  
"Uhh, nothing!" stammered the nervous looking dragon, Stepping back on his haunches and finding himself cornered by a very angry looking Harley.  
  
There was a loud crash inside the house, temporarily stealing everyones attention. "What was that?" asked Lynne. A serious of disgruntled noises followed.  
  
"Oh.... uh, thats just Gaz... She uh, can't figure out how to play her Gameslave 2 with dragon hands....." There was another loud bang, followed by a barrage of viscous roars.  
  
"Soooo..." continued Harley, turning back to Dib, "Do you know anything about this??" Dib looked terrified.  
  
"Well... uh... maybe a little." he stammered. The group focused its attention back on him, with the accception of Gir and Alaska. Gir had mounted a large satellite dish like structure, and was busy teasing Alaska. "Silly doggie mutt can't catcha meeee!!!" he exclaimed, Alaska going into frenzied bark like noises.  
  
"Whats this?" asked Jaime, approaching the dish. "Doesn't look like any Direct TV dish Ive ever seen..." Dib looked like he was about to do something in his pants, if he'd been wearing any.   
  
"I.... uh..... OKAY!! Okay, okay!! It was me.... I did it! But it was an accident!" he exclaimed.  
  
"YOU!" Hissed Zim, who had remained silent for the most part. He stepped forward, looking surprisingly formidable in this form. Bright green tail whipping back and forth furiously. Bright red eyes blazing.  
  
"Dib, how do we reverse it?" Said Jaime stepping between he and Zim. Looking as though she could have swallowed him in one bite.   
  
"I... I wanted to turn Zim into a dragon because he seems so scared of them.. you know... he is terrified of her." He said gesturing at Lynne.  
  
"Why you! You human filthy filthy stinky stink... GAH!!" cried Zim, leaping forward for lack of better action (his insults weren't coming as fluently as he would have liked). Dib continued anyway.  
  
"So I took my fathers matter transfiguring device, and set coordinates for Zims house. But for some reason, it read to coordinates backwards, widening the area it affected. By my calculations, most of the town should be in dragon form..." He said glancing about nervously.  
  
"How do you reverse it?" repeated Jaime, looking darker by the second. Interrupted by a purple dragon who came hurtling through the glass back doors.  
  
"DIB!!! So help you..... my doom will encompass you so completely!!! Prepare to suffer a most horrible of deaths! A most painful and excruciating of experiences..." It was Gaz, who had apparently overheard her brothers confession.  
  
"I... uh.... Gaz, don't kill me... I uh... think i can reverse it!" Said Dib with falsified conviction, backing up against Harley, who suddenly looked liked a bunny rabbit compared to Gaz's fury. Gaz paused in her ranting, giving him a 10 second window for explanation.  
  
"Well, explain now." said Lynne, looking like she could swallow him in one bite as well.  
  
"Umm... i think a mirror, reversing the beam onto itself would reverse the effect, sending it back into the dish, then letting it fire off again.... That should work..." said Dib. looking rather pitiful in the circle of angry dragons. Even Gir and Alaska had assumed angry poses, probably finding the imitation amusing.  
  
"It better work you human-poo-stink!" said Zim.  
  
"Well, uh... someone is going to have to fly up there with a mirror to do the job..." He looked about, waiting for someone to volunteer.  
  
"Since this is your doing... I believe it should be you." Said Jaime, moving to stand next to Harley. Gir copied, stomping over to Harley and scrunching up his nose in what was perceived to be and angry face. Bursting into crazy giggles after a few moments of this. Harley couldn't help but smile, despite the surrounding mood.  
  
"B-bb-but I can't fly." Dib was protesting. Looking almost ashamed at the revelation.  
  
Zim scoffed, glaring at him. "I should have known you worthless human, I'll do it. I think i've pretty much mastered this flying thing." Zim didn't want to admit it... but he was almost.... nah... I can't even write it the concept was so impossible for him!  
  
"Alright!" said Dib, jumping at this proposition. He lumbered off to get a mirror, returning shortly. "You'll have to align yourself with the beam, we'll call instructions from down here before i fire it. Once it strikes the mirror you'll have to stay in place until its reversed on itself and reentered the dish, you'll have to move out of the way then, letting it fire and disperse, reversing its effect. But be extra careful not to be hit, a direct one would be so concentrated, you'd probably be stuck as a dragon forever.  
  
"Thurk-beast.." muttered Zim to himself, then, " I will do that then, have no worries... I AM ZIM!!! I will succeed." he said confidently. Snatching the mirror from Dib, the leaping into flight. Once he was about 30 feet above it, the instructed him to hold in place, then directed him slightly into alignment. He followed their directions easily. Finally holding in place where they said it was perfect. This thurk-beast thing wasn't so... He silenced his thoughts, they'd only distract him after all....  
  
"Alright, i'm going to fire the beam now..." said Dib from below, pushing a series of buttons awkwardly with his claws. "Uhhh... Lynne, could you do this, i'll tell you what to do..." he said hesitantly. She sighed, and stepped forward to follow his instructions.   
  
"Now when she pushes the red button it will fire." said Dib, not looking as sure as Zim would have liked. Ignorant human... he thought to himself. The bright silver beam burst forth, heading directly for Zim, he braced himself, unsure if he'd feel any physical effects. He was suddenly knocked aside, his heart leaping in surprise. It was Gir!!  
  
"Master has shiny object" exclaimed the little dragon as the beam struck Zim in the chest.  
  
"GAH! Gir!!" he cried tumbling backward. He would be a thurk-beast forever now! Panic flooded him and he stopped working at flying, Gir tangled amidst his limbs and wings. He clamped his eyes shut as he plummeted to the earth. No worse thing could have happened!!! He flinched, awaiting the feel of the grounds hard surface against his now permanently Thurk body....  
  
*THUD!!*  
  
Zim rolled onto his back eyes snapping open. That hadn't hurt as much as he thought it would... Perhaps these Thurk bodies were stronger then he'd imagined. In fact, now that he was stuck in one, perhaps he could admit to himself that he didn't mind it much at all...  
  
"Master!! Intruder!" came Gir's voice, the little bot was still entangled with him.   
  
"GIR!" He screamed angrily. His eyes snapping open as he whirled upon him...  
  
He was in the lab! Gir was his regular self, squeaky moose still in hand. He had pounced and knocked Zim from his chair.  
  
"Intruder!" He insisted, pointing wildly. Zim leapt up, doing a little jig.  
  
"I'm not Thurken!! I'm no Thurk beast!!! Hooray!!" He continued his little dance, Gir getting caught up in the excitement and joining him.  
  
"YAAAY! We not Thooken!!!" he exclaimed swinging in a circle with Zim. Zim paused in his celebration, stopping short...  
  
"Intruder?! Gir! Where's the intruder?!?" Gir stopped, squinting his eyes in concentration.   
  
"Hees dare!!" exclaimed the bot, spinning on his metal heels and pointing. A small lizard froze in its progress across the platform. Looking up with panic at Zim. Tongue flitting form reptilian snout...  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Zim's scream could be heard reverberating throughout the vast expanse of his base....Though the neighbors had gotten pretty used to it... 


End file.
